Fleeting Disappointment

I've been through this game before.  I know all the tricks, the rules, and the outcomes.  I know that some days are ups and some are down.  Up 1, down 2, up 1.5, down 3.  I know not to get disappointed when the scale moves up because it will eventually move down again.

Then why am I so frustrated and hurt that I let myself down?

I think it is because I was less than a pound away from going under 200.  I was really hoping I'd hit it today, and yet I was actually up a pound.  I really should wait and just weigh myself every other day, but the compulsion to step on the scale is so strong.  Immediate payoff is what I seek.

Intake today, Wed the 9th (so far at 9:30 pm) -
* 6 oz shrimp - 160 / 2
* Right Bites Chips Ahoy - 100 / 3
* 3 Turkey Dogs - 120 / 1.5
* 2 Weight Watchers Light String Cheese - 100 / 5
* Fuji Apple - 80 / 0

Total (hopefully nothing more by mouth tonight): 560 / 11.5

My DH can be such a hypocrit.  He tells me how easy it is to diet (he's never done it) and that to lose weight I just have to 'get used to being hungry till my stomach shrinks', and yet today, because he is Catholic and today is Ash Wed., he can only eat at meals (no snacks) and he keeps complaining how hungry he is.  How hard it is.  Except he got to eat a tuna fish sandwhich for lunch at 10 large fishsticks for dinner, with a cup of soup, that rang in at 1400 calories and 65 grams of fat for dinner alone.

He says that he cannot concentrate and he's starving, and yet he cannot fathom why I get crabby and have memory problems when I'm dieting.  It's easy when I'm doing it, but when he has to it becomes so inconvenient, so impossible.  Bah humbug.

Part of me really wants to eat a little bit more tonight - light snacks - to make him feel how I feel every night.  When he snacks for hours and I have to sit and watch and cannot participate.  But I'm not vengeful.  And I really want to be under 200 tomorrow.  So it's not really worth it.

*~* Lexi *~*